Invincible...to your brazen slings and arrows.

Uh-oh!
Looks like it's time for the latest installment of "Incestible."

Two regular Joes, a father-son bonding session....

back in the good old days when the buff, surly Daddy

finally made some time for his awkward stick-figure son....

so long as they were wearing spandex and getting sweaty together.

But you know the 'Good Times' never last!

"Oh, no...you don't get to play both sides!

I know you've started sleeping with Mom again.

Jeremy Irons warned me you wouldn't be

a legitimate hookup. <sob!>"

(("Since I can't get the boy to give up the goods

any more, I guess I'll have to settle for day-old fish. Ah, well...

any port in a storm I guess!

He'll come around."))

(("That's right, you simple fool...little do you realize this is all

part of my plan to seduce you...Ruffie you if need be...

and thus make the old man jealous! He won't be able to

stand it when he discovers someone else has cracked my textbook!"))

Ahh, family life.

Always a soap opera.

***

Golden Boy

Yes sir, SIR!
Oh he of the flaxen, shimmering hair and

crystal blue eyes and pursed lips that have

never seen Botox (we used ta call 'em Blow-Job

Lips, back in the day!)....your wish is my command!

Someone need to tell Fey Ray here that

'Super-Haughtiness' is not a real super power.

I wonder what he do with that little bug man

at night? Go all "Deep Space 9-inches"

I betcha.

Evidently, queens from other planets do

not have a Diva-'Tude reduction.

Some things are just universal.

***

(Don't) spare the rod!

Ooh, girl...he jealous you used that pole

on his sister! Look how distraught he is!

He say 'good' and he mean 'a good boy.'

He's subserviant now, and awaiting

your harsh punishment!

You done good, Daddy! Train that boy!

***

He Don't PLAY!

This is a bloody rasslin' battle between two big ol' Bear-Daddies!

Mmnnnn-mnnn! Look at Puff Daddy's fine ass in those tights!

Oh come on now, Super Buff...you know you is easy!

Playing hard-to-get is part of the game with you.

He's hiding...but you seeking...

it's gonna be all right.

But they really need more zippers in these outfits

for convenience. Whatever happened to 'easy access?'

"I like it when they fight back, bitch.

You were the best I ever had.

Definitely worth leaving for last.

And you really know how to give head."

(Okay, well, the guy was decapitated, but

you know....there's always a joke in there!)

***

Really? Too much?

So easy....

GAY!

***

Crack of the Moon

What is Marvel's own Moon Knight's greatest weapon?

Is it his once-treasured Khonshu moon-god powers?

Or his Huston-imposed brutality and viciousness?

Perhaps it's that big ol' billy club he carry?

No, his greatest ass-et is the splendorous way

that the lovely white spandex conforms to

his own tighty-whity, parting those glorious

cheeks and driving even the most breederific of

opponents to distraction!

Come on Marc...let's see a Full Moon!

***

'Flash' A Little Tail For Us! (not too quickly!)

I'm not sayin' there was a conspiracy

or anything, but the DC character The Flash

was definitely the lead-man in the "Get on your

stomach and show me something!" role in the

"JLA/Avengers" mini-series.

Oh, you know how, Barry!
You like that frottage friction, son!

And we sure like seeing those firm buns of yours.

Running surely gives a man a nice ass.

Here he tries to no avail to get the attention of two

Avengers while he's got it propped up high and proud.

But Hawkeye likes the rough stuff; he doesn't need

some passive repository. And ol' Tony has a built-in

massager, so he's good.

Meanwhile Flash is stuck without Hal to take him camping

and he's become quite distraught.

**

Orange Chain-mail & Green Lycra is HAWT!

So, three beefy, massive black guys are walking

along the beach, sharing their dining habits and how

'no one can beat it' and his 'buds are tingling already,'

and you might think they're shoving a six-inch in their mouths,

but--let's face it, these are black guys--so you know it

has to be foot-longs.

And isn't it cute they're all wearing little matching lime green shirts

and dark green bike shorts! Spandex, hurray!

So then they catch these two cute numbers

dressed up in rubber fetish completism, having their way with Aquaman,

who's in a state of ecstasy; just look at that staff pointing straight up!

They immediately feel left out, and decide they're going to

join in on the action...because as we all know, there

isn't any kind of gay action going on in professional sports!

(Wink wink, nudge nudge!)

They bout to get wet with Aquaman....

Heeeeeeyyyyyy!

***

"Ya been replaced with a fresher model!"

Superman has a new Best Boy and...

uh,...he looks an awful lot like the old one!?

Old men and their goddamned fetishes.

Nothing gets gayer than a purple muscle tee

with the initials "J.O." on the front, with matching

tights and booties. And let's face it; all Gingers are

as queer as a three-dollar bill.

Looks like bus tires and chains excite Supes,

and I know he's enjoying the view from down there!

Come on, little Jimmy...

Fight for you man!

***

Strike a Pose, Posey!

Ooh, I bet you is on your way, Doc Savage!

Damn...making plans with one man and ain't even
dressed and left the last one yet!

He savage all right!

(Although, to be fair, right here he look

a bit more like 'Doc Fierce' to me!)

***

WHo's Worshipping WHo?

Thor as Jobber....

Mmnn-mnn, good.

First, Thor thrust his big old godly hammer in my face,

and I grabbed it real good!

It was throbbing with power, but I gripped it so hard

the Thunder God grimaced in ecstacy.

That's right, Boy...drop to your knees!

He's so exhausted from the energy I sucked out of him,

he can't even hold his big hammer.

"He's so sore he can't touch it with a powder puff," honey.

Now that Big Daddy is down, time for the Twink.

Thor....hammered and sucked dry.

Down for the count--crushed and battered.

Round Two when your hammer is energized.

***

Terra-Man

A part of me wonders if  "Terra-Man" isn't secretly a

member of a Villains-for-Hire squad known as the

Village People.

 (To be fair--that refers to any incarnation of this fella!)

So, we'd also have Wet-man (possibly a Lifeguard,)

and Flame-Man (an effemenate fire-fighter, naturally,)

and there'd be Air-Man (a super-fine, uniformed

Air Force Captain--oh, throw a rock, honey!)

and then for good measure maybe Shock-Man

(a lineman for the electric company, good at

riding those poles!)

Cowboy motif....

pony tail and 1970's clone mustache...

tight-fitting leathers ...and a whole buncha

mechanical horse power strapped to his legs.

Likes to see his opponents sweat and

tie them up. Come on!

Still and all...

I'm very turned on.

As I was evidently intended to be!

***