"But what would you DO with it!?!?"

 

Now you know in the real world, Henry Pym would

be a millionaire for his patented success with penile

enlargement capsules...but, hey..

 

Yes, everything gets bigger on a Pym-particles man.

 

"You all look so small down there!"
"Yeah, well, we can tell your religion from down here...

not that anyone's complaining!"

 

Can you imagine the show if Giant Man

had a 'Skeet skeet skeet!" party?

Looks like a snowstorm,

feels like a glue factory exploded!

 

Here's to shadowy cock outlines

and giant penis..penises...penii?

Oh, well...big dicks, nonetheless!

 

***

Getting Inside Them Genes

Feel so lost...not just childish rebellion this time.

Time for a little Identi-fucking!

I'm no regular kid...

I've got both Superman and

my big, bad, bald Daddy Lex up in me!

Time for me to shave away the individuality

and mark myself for Lexy!
Bought and paid for, I is his Boy!

(Oooh! I'm bulging out for reals, now!)

***

Gonna Smash that Adam REAL Good!

(This looks promising!)

(Right after I get inside you!)

(mmnnn...he's weak and disoriented...now's my shot!

Look at those glistening, hardened muscles!)

("Adam...we've been dancing around the matter...but

here we are, and I know how to ease your pain...")

(Damn. Shoulda Ruffied him when I had my opening!)

***

A Real Personal Ass-istant

Uh-oh! Suggestiveness!

Pump it! Pump it!

Not like the Black-eyed Peas, bitch--

Pump it for REAL!

Stop distracting me! You know why you're really here!
Look at my spectacular bod, boy!

I'm in position! Why won't you tend to me!

Some 'personal trainer' you are.

I'm gonna keep somethin' up for ya, ya

cock-tease! Right up under the other big bar here.

Gonna have to get rough since you won't

notice my glutes. You couldn't guess my

super powers, bitch; it's having the most

perfectly rounded ass in the hero game!

Get ready for a mooning!

***

"It's e-LEC-tri-fying!"

Oh, Thunder-Fist gots this one, sugar.

He gonna charge it up, shove his fist right

up in it, and let go with an explosive charge of energy!

 

God, this rubber suit feels divine!

Don't you love the cowboy boots

and the 'Legion of Doom' knock-off

shoulder pads? All beautifully contoured to

my massive muscularity...mnn!

 

I give new meaning to the phrase

'I'm gonna shoot a lightning bolt

up your ass!'"

 

***

Golden Boy

Yes sir, SIR!
Oh he of the flaxen, shimmering hair and

crystal blue eyes and pursed lips that have

never seen Botox (we used ta call 'em Blow-Job

Lips, back in the day!)....your wish is my command!

Someone need to tell Fey Ray here that

'Super-Haughtiness' is not a real super power.

I wonder what he do with that little bug man

at night? Go all "Deep Space 9-inches"

I betcha.

Evidently, queens from other planets do

not have a Diva-'Tude reduction.

Some things are just universal.

***