Superman's J.O. Buddy



Yes, because 'putting the Hyper-masculine primary figure

in roped bondage while half-naked leopard men

do the tethering and his purple-spandex-clad buddy

comes flying in to help' is a great response to the

'questionable' nature of a fictional figure's relationship!



Getting Inside Them Genes

Feel so lost...not just childish rebellion this time.

Time for a little Identi-fucking!

I'm no regular kid...

I've got both Superman and

my big, bad, bald Daddy Lex up in me!

Time for me to shave away the individuality

and mark myself for Lexy!
Bought and paid for, I is his Boy!

(Oooh! I'm bulging out for reals, now!)

***

A Real Personal Ass-istant

Uh-oh! Suggestiveness!

Pump it! Pump it!

Not like the Black-eyed Peas, bitch--

Pump it for REAL!

Stop distracting me! You know why you're really here!
Look at my spectacular bod, boy!

I'm in position! Why won't you tend to me!

Some 'personal trainer' you are.

I'm gonna keep somethin' up for ya, ya

cock-tease! Right up under the other big bar here.

Gonna have to get rough since you won't

notice my glutes. You couldn't guess my

super powers, bitch; it's having the most

perfectly rounded ass in the hero game!

Get ready for a mooning!

***

"It's e-LEC-tri-fying!"

Oh, Thunder-Fist gots this one, sugar.

He gonna charge it up, shove his fist right

up in it, and let go with an explosive charge of energy!

 

God, this rubber suit feels divine!

Don't you love the cowboy boots

and the 'Legion of Doom' knock-off

shoulder pads? All beautifully contoured to

my massive muscularity...mnn!

 

I give new meaning to the phrase

'I'm gonna shoot a lightning bolt

up your ass!'"

 

***

Symbolism Rocks

Yes, "Needs Must Be Met."

And, finally and at last,

sexy billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne

is about to get slammed hard into the ground

by a giant, hairy beast.

Dreams do come true.

(And spandex tights really show off a raging hard-on.)

***