Hissy-Fit Titty-Twister

(Everything is clear when you wear green spandex

and green Lycra, sweetheart!)

Oooh! He gonna use them

straps to take charge. (Is it significant that a giant

cigar is being lit up at the same moment Lex is 'taking charge?')

I know goatees are comfortable,

but that little fake ass moustache is troubling me.

Ahhh...substitutions.

Alas, as long as he's gripped tight and

held down. Secure his bald ass.

Gonna be some Vaseline and razor blades up

in this mutha fucka!

Flex it, bust loose, don't take no orders--

show him who's boss!

Mmmnn...double-fisted action...

pound that head!

It's getting rough--

but The Wizard looks like

he's enjoying getting played.

Yup.

He's completely wet and dripping.

Guess it's time to smoke that cigar now.

***

Who's the Super-man NOW ?!?

Ooh...scrawny pup makes minced meat

out of savage bears!

There's a reason why Supes' nether-regions

are not pictured on the cover!

Oh, look, one brute is even tapping out.

He really wanna tap that Ginger Root.

Big Vs. Small;

you never know who's coming out on top!

***

J.O. Adventures

Jimmy do love him some role play..

and what a nice twist this is;

biker member! Ooh, he tough now!

***

Super-Hero Down Time



Hey, you know, like...we're both stressed, we're
both mourning...I know some great techniques
for stress-reduction we could work on.

I promise not to use my super-speed.

***



Cosplay Lovin'



Ooh, I see where that Manhunter hid his baton!

Boy, they really do get their man--even after death!

'Course, that's a damned good-looking corpse;
that Manhunter gonna have him a GOOD ol' snack!
(Double-handful, even!)

Mmnn...'No Man Escapes the Manhunters..'
and with a hard-drive like that, why would they want to?!?!

Let's get this zombie-robot lovin'-fest going, people!
I wanna see sparks and dust flying!
Tear it up!
***



Invincible...to your brazen slings and arrows.

Uh-oh!
Looks like it's time for the latest installment of "Incestible."

Two regular Joes, a father-son bonding session....

back in the good old days when the buff, surly Daddy

finally made some time for his awkward stick-figure son....

so long as they were wearing spandex and getting sweaty together.

But you know the 'Good Times' never last!

"Oh, no...you don't get to play both sides!

I know you've started sleeping with Mom again.

Jeremy Irons warned me you wouldn't be

a legitimate hookup. <sob!>"

(("Since I can't get the boy to give up the goods

any more, I guess I'll have to settle for day-old fish. Ah, well...

any port in a storm I guess!

He'll come around."))

(("That's right, you simple fool...little do you realize this is all

part of my plan to seduce you...Ruffie you if need be...

and thus make the old man jealous! He won't be able to

stand it when he discovers someone else has cracked my textbook!"))

Ahh, family life.

Always a soap opera.

***

Sonny...Get in 'Dis Position!

Seems like somebody gets turned on

by some weird classifieds.

Oh well...who am I to judge?

(Keep that scruff, Buddy...you

know how much the big ones like that!)

Uh oh!
Yeah, Sun-eaters, you big animal!

They eat you whole!

They suck that life force right

out you in a hot minute!

Make you burst and...

oh....never mind....

You gettin' the vapors already,

ain'tcha?

Well, it won't be long now.

Oh, girl, pleeze!

Really and true?

Restrain yourself

and have some dignity--this is the

comics, after all!

Hmph!

(Jealous!)

***

Police Your Emotions

Even beat down and prone, the 'Flash'

likes to show off that phenomenal package!
Spread them legs, girl!

Perhaps he hopes to entice the occifers to

engage in some rough trade to solicit his

freedom? Maybe a little more of that shit-talking

and subjugation, eh?

Naw, he looks like he's enjoying that

firm grip those hard, uniformed, padded

corrupt officials have on him....he's not

even resisting their domination that much.

He knows what they've got planned

for his rubber-clad ass!

"You got to slow down, boyyyy!"

Go too fast, you won't enjoy all

the 'ins' and 'outs' of  incarceration.

Might get you a hosing.

Oh--I see what you up to, there!

***

(Don't) spare the rod!

Ooh, girl...he jealous you used that pole

on his sister! Look how distraught he is!

He say 'good' and he mean 'a good boy.'

He's subserviant now, and awaiting

your harsh punishment!

You done good, Daddy! Train that boy!

***

He Don't PLAY!

This is a bloody rasslin' battle between two big ol' Bear-Daddies!

Mmnnnn-mnnn! Look at Puff Daddy's fine ass in those tights!

Oh come on now, Super Buff...you know you is easy!

Playing hard-to-get is part of the game with you.

He's hiding...but you seeking...

it's gonna be all right.

But they really need more zippers in these outfits

for convenience. Whatever happened to 'easy access?'

"I like it when they fight back, bitch.

You were the best I ever had.

Definitely worth leaving for last.

And you really know how to give head."

(Okay, well, the guy was decapitated, but

you know....there's always a joke in there!)

***

"Ya been replaced with a fresher model!"

Superman has a new Best Boy and...

uh,...he looks an awful lot like the old one!?

Old men and their goddamned fetishes.

Nothing gets gayer than a purple muscle tee

with the initials "J.O." on the front, with matching

tights and booties. And let's face it; all Gingers are

as queer as a three-dollar bill.

Looks like bus tires and chains excite Supes,

and I know he's enjoying the view from down there!

Come on, little Jimmy...

Fight for you man!

***