'Stroke it to the East...'stroke it to the West...."

"Oy! Do you know how hard it is to throw

both legs in the air and still keep a firm

grip on my staff!?!!!"

"Hurry up, dammit; my sweet spot

isn't covered in chain mail!"

Well, that and the fact that you're a girl.

He's only into getting beat off by guys, hon.

But he does look a little 'half mast' now that

you mention it. I guess he's an equal opportunity

sadist....just particular!

"oh, girllll...I love a hard swing to the

face with a stiff pole!
How you think I lost that other eye?"

***

Sonny...Get in 'Dis Position!

Seems like somebody gets turned on

by some weird classifieds.

Oh well...who am I to judge?

(Keep that scruff, Buddy...you

know how much the big ones like that!)

Uh oh!
Yeah, Sun-eaters, you big animal!

They eat you whole!

They suck that life force right

out you in a hot minute!

Make you burst and...

oh....never mind....

You gettin' the vapors already,

ain'tcha?

Well, it won't be long now.

Oh, girl, pleeze!

Really and true?

Restrain yourself

and have some dignity--this is the

comics, after all!

Hmph!

(Jealous!)

***

Police Your Emotions

Even beat down and prone, the 'Flash'

likes to show off that phenomenal package!
Spread them legs, girl!

Perhaps he hopes to entice the occifers to

engage in some rough trade to solicit his

freedom? Maybe a little more of that shit-talking

and subjugation, eh?

Naw, he looks like he's enjoying that

firm grip those hard, uniformed, padded

corrupt officials have on him....he's not

even resisting their domination that much.

He knows what they've got planned

for his rubber-clad ass!

"You got to slow down, boyyyy!"

Go too fast, you won't enjoy all

the 'ins' and 'outs' of  incarceration.

Might get you a hosing.

Oh--I see what you up to, there!

***

A Real Personal Ass-istant

Uh-oh! Suggestiveness!

Pump it! Pump it!

Not like the Black-eyed Peas, bitch--

Pump it for REAL!

Stop distracting me! You know why you're really here!
Look at my spectacular bod, boy!

I'm in position! Why won't you tend to me!

Some 'personal trainer' you are.

I'm gonna keep somethin' up for ya, ya

cock-tease! Right up under the other big bar here.

Gonna have to get rough since you won't

notice my glutes. You couldn't guess my

super powers, bitch; it's having the most

perfectly rounded ass in the hero game!

Get ready for a mooning!

***

Brotherly Love

Young Adult Fiction is both super-gay

and similar to comic books, so it falls

under my purview here.

I thought that I had stumbled upon a

collection of teenager porn books when
I spied one of these at my vet's office.

Close enough, I suppose.

Most gay boys have a brotherly fixation on a sibling,

either from said bro being more butch, or simply the constant

togetherness of such a relationship slowly developing into desire.

In the 1980s, it seems, said boy-homos-in-training

had a wet dream come true in the form of this

'adventure' series with such scintillating covers

as these!

Here, in the light of a naked gay angel,

the two bare-chested and fey boys

grab their wood and tools while wearing

every he-man's outfit of ruggedness;

Blue Lagoon hot-pants, and Ron Ely-loving

loin cloths.

(And my, what a big, dangerous snake that is

nearly wrapped around their legs! Oh, MY!)

**

Turnaround: Work for Hire

A big ol' brawny ruffian

(we all know what their story ends up being!)

wants to hassle the little guy.

Blaming the object of his affection for

bringing about his desire...

oh, the life of a man in deep denial.

He finds his mark, and wants some

privacy with the boy so he can have his way.

Ooh....so intimidating.

The cop arrives and instead of protecting the

boy, he pays off super-stud to be willing to

engage in some risky behavior.

Give that boy a leg up (giggle)

on his competition...

just to give the law a show.

The brute can't handle the boy's enhancements...

But we all know he's secretly enjoying the

brutality.....it gives him the closeness

without his secrets being revealed!

(And he does look so good down on his knees!)

Who's the jobber now, heel?

*********

"It's e-LEC-tri-fying!"

Oh, Thunder-Fist gots this one, sugar.

He gonna charge it up, shove his fist right

up in it, and let go with an explosive charge of energy!

 

God, this rubber suit feels divine!

Don't you love the cowboy boots

and the 'Legion of Doom' knock-off

shoulder pads? All beautifully contoured to

my massive muscularity...mnn!

 

I give new meaning to the phrase

'I'm gonna shoot a lightning bolt

up your ass!'"

 

***

Golden Boy

Yes sir, SIR!
Oh he of the flaxen, shimmering hair and

crystal blue eyes and pursed lips that have

never seen Botox (we used ta call 'em Blow-Job

Lips, back in the day!)....your wish is my command!

Someone need to tell Fey Ray here that

'Super-Haughtiness' is not a real super power.

I wonder what he do with that little bug man

at night? Go all "Deep Space 9-inches"

I betcha.

Evidently, queens from other planets do

not have a Diva-'Tude reduction.

Some things are just universal.

***

(Don't) spare the rod!

Ooh, girl...he jealous you used that pole

on his sister! Look how distraught he is!

He say 'good' and he mean 'a good boy.'

He's subserviant now, and awaiting

your harsh punishment!

You done good, Daddy! Train that boy!

***

He Don't PLAY!

This is a bloody rasslin' battle between two big ol' Bear-Daddies!

Mmnnnn-mnnn! Look at Puff Daddy's fine ass in those tights!

Oh come on now, Super Buff...you know you is easy!

Playing hard-to-get is part of the game with you.

He's hiding...but you seeking...

it's gonna be all right.

But they really need more zippers in these outfits

for convenience. Whatever happened to 'easy access?'

"I like it when they fight back, bitch.

You were the best I ever had.

Definitely worth leaving for last.

And you really know how to give head."

(Okay, well, the guy was decapitated, but

you know....there's always a joke in there!)

***

Symbolism Rocks

Yes, "Needs Must Be Met."

And, finally and at last,

sexy billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne

is about to get slammed hard into the ground

by a giant, hairy beast.

Dreams do come true.

(And spandex tights really show off a raging hard-on.)

***

Really? Too much?

So easy....

GAY!

***

Crack of the Moon

What is Marvel's own Moon Knight's greatest weapon?

Is it his once-treasured Khonshu moon-god powers?

Or his Huston-imposed brutality and viciousness?

Perhaps it's that big ol' billy club he carry?

No, his greatest ass-et is the splendorous way

that the lovely white spandex conforms to

his own tighty-whity, parting those glorious

cheeks and driving even the most breederific of

opponents to distraction!

Come on Marc...let's see a Full Moon!

***

'Flash' A Little Tail For Us! (not too quickly!)

I'm not sayin' there was a conspiracy

or anything, but the DC character The Flash

was definitely the lead-man in the "Get on your

stomach and show me something!" role in the

"JLA/Avengers" mini-series.

Oh, you know how, Barry!
You like that frottage friction, son!

And we sure like seeing those firm buns of yours.

Running surely gives a man a nice ass.

Here he tries to no avail to get the attention of two

Avengers while he's got it propped up high and proud.

But Hawkeye likes the rough stuff; he doesn't need

some passive repository. And ol' Tony has a built-in

massager, so he's good.

Meanwhile Flash is stuck without Hal to take him camping

and he's become quite distraught.

**