Orange Chain-mail & Green Lycra is HAWT!

So, three beefy, massive black guys are walking

along the beach, sharing their dining habits and how

'no one can beat it' and his 'buds are tingling already,'

and you might think they're shoving a six-inch in their mouths,

but--let's face it, these are black guys--so you know it

has to be foot-longs.

And isn't it cute they're all wearing little matching lime green shirts

and dark green bike shorts! Spandex, hurray!

So then they catch these two cute numbers

dressed up in rubber fetish completism, having their way with Aquaman,

who's in a state of ecstasy; just look at that staff pointing straight up!

They immediately feel left out, and decide they're going to

join in on the action...because as we all know, there

isn't any kind of gay action going on in professional sports!

(Wink wink, nudge nudge!)

They bout to get wet with Aquaman....

Heeeeeeyyyyyy!

***

"Ya been replaced with a fresher model!"

Superman has a new Best Boy and...

uh,...he looks an awful lot like the old one!?

Old men and their goddamned fetishes.

Nothing gets gayer than a purple muscle tee

with the initials "J.O." on the front, with matching

tights and booties. And let's face it; all Gingers are

as queer as a three-dollar bill.

Looks like bus tires and chains excite Supes,

and I know he's enjoying the view from down there!

Come on, little Jimmy...

Fight for you man!

***

Strike a Pose, Posey!

Ooh, I bet you is on your way, Doc Savage!

Damn...making plans with one man and ain't even
dressed and left the last one yet!

He savage all right!

(Although, to be fair, right here he look

a bit more like 'Doc Fierce' to me!)

***

WHo's Worshipping WHo?

Thor as Jobber....

Mmnn-mnn, good.

First, Thor thrust his big old godly hammer in my face,

and I grabbed it real good!

It was throbbing with power, but I gripped it so hard

the Thunder God grimaced in ecstacy.

That's right, Boy...drop to your knees!

He's so exhausted from the energy I sucked out of him,

he can't even hold his big hammer.

"He's so sore he can't touch it with a powder puff," honey.

Now that Big Daddy is down, time for the Twink.

Thor....hammered and sucked dry.

Down for the count--crushed and battered.

Round Two when your hammer is energized.

***

Terra-Man

A part of me wonders if  "Terra-Man" isn't secretly a

member of a Villains-for-Hire squad known as the

Village People.

 (To be fair--that refers to any incarnation of this fella!)

So, we'd also have Wet-man (possibly a Lifeguard,)

and Flame-Man (an effemenate fire-fighter, naturally,)

and there'd be Air-Man (a super-fine, uniformed

Air Force Captain--oh, throw a rock, honey!)

and then for good measure maybe Shock-Man

(a lineman for the electric company, good at

riding those poles!)

Cowboy motif....

pony tail and 1970's clone mustache...

tight-fitting leathers ...and a whole buncha

mechanical horse power strapped to his legs.

Likes to see his opponents sweat and

tie them up. Come on!

Still and all...

I'm very turned on.

As I was evidently intended to be!

***